Fallen Indeed

I'm bummed right out...

Do you ever just get that ridiculous, insane, can't help but wanna scream excitement about a movie about to be released? Me too! I get that excitement too! Seriously I d-... oh, you don't actually get it? Well I do.

And I had that excitement for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Not because I LOVED the first one or anything, in fact, besides the great action I thought the first Transformers was kinda weak. But Revenge looked great! It looked like it was going to be non-stop action, and like a ton of new awesome characters were gonna be introduced... man, I couldn't help but get that ridiculous, insance, can't help but wanna scream excitement over this flick.

Holy Shit did that ever fade fast!

I seriously, don't know where to begin other than at the beginning, in which the first 15 minutes of this flick introduce a plethora of new characters who are subsequently NEVER used again! Arcee, from the cartoon showed up, and she has like two lines! And there are three of her! Three! And then Sideswipe, probably the coolest character I'd seen yet, had ONE action scene! In the first 15 minutes! He gets one line, one action scene, and one glance, and then he's gone!

!

But of course, what better new characters to keep around then the annoying, comic but not funny relief that were the Autobot Twins, the Mexican coward of a roommate who gets tazered twice, and the hot college chick who is actually a Decepticon who tries to kill Shia LaBeouf with her tongue! Garbagio.

There was great action, really great action, but so much in this movie made no sense at all. For instance, when the Decepticons would fly in from space and land literally right next to someone, the person wouldn't even notice, and they didn't always make craters like the rest of them did. That makes no sense at all. One even lands on a frigate, and doesn't even dent the boat. There were all of these new characters like I mentioned who would suddenly just disappear, and sometimes there would be characters in massive action sequences and then they would just suddenly disappear too! No explanation, just not in the movie anymore! This happens with the Stupid Twins, the retarded roommate, and the Constructicon, who by the way, should have been awesome, but dies after getting shot once!

All your favorites from the first movie aren't used nearly as much as the posters and ad campaigns make it seem, and even Bumblebee was cut from a lot of this flick! Bumblebee? He's like the cornerstone of Transformers next to Optimus Prime!
Speaking of Optimus, did I mention his anti-climactic final battle where he defeats all three of the main villains, i.e. The Fallen, Megatron and Starscream in like 2 minutes and barely even gets hurt! So stupid, they built these three up so much and then brought them down so easily and quickly! GAH!

To top it all off, it ends with this thing of Cybertronic ghosts appearing to save both Shia's life and Optimus' life, and it comes out of the blue, is so stupid... like seriously, what were they thinking? They actually had a lot of really awesome story opportunities, but then they wouldn't pursue them and instead would focus on something really important like whether or not Sam should say I love you to his girlfriend, which it takes literally dying to do. Waste of time, just like the rest of this movie.

Literally the only thing worth watching was the CGI and the action that went along with it, and I still shiver when Optimus talks, but then they don't even give him a proper closing speech like he deserves! Instead he gets two sentences! You can't end a Transformers movie like that!

It finishes, as you can probably now assume, with no explanation of anything. The first movie closed itself off pretty nicely, this movie, no explanation of anyt event whatsoever. It just ends. And remember those funny little clips in between the credits? Those are back, but they're stupid as anything I've ever seen in cinema. What a terrible movie.

I give this movie 1.5/6, earning its 1.5 only for the action and CGI. Thanks you SO much Michael Bay, for ruining yet another potential-worthy flick.