Ok, Wow! I cannot tell you how long I've been eagerly awaiting the release of this movie, which is a polite a way of saying I cannot tell you how long I've been crying like a baby waiting for the release of this movie throwing little girl tantrums everytime it said it was coming and then didn't. But, drumroll please... are you drumming?... are you using your hands or did you go find some pens or chopsticks or something?... who cares, cuz Fanboys is here!
This movie does what every boy or girl or man or woman or hermaphrodite who loved Star Wars always wanted to do; make a comedy about Star Wars about people who love Star Wars while lovingly making fun of Star Wars.
Star Wars.
Fanboys was not only hysterical, it paid an incredible homage to Star Wars and the rest of geekdom, taking only real hits at things that deserve it, like: Michael Bay, Trekkies, and Jar-Jar Binks.
The Wars references were amazing and plentiful, the jokes timely and hilarious, and the film was well made. Hilarious acting with a ton of awesome cameos including Princess Leia and Lando Calrissian themselves, this movie was a dream come true for the little Han Solo living inside of me. It even finishes off with a really touching ending that breaks your heart yet doesn't break with the feel of the movie.
I seriously cannot say enough about this flick, so I'm going to keep this short and say "see it." If you appreciate Star Wars or your just a movie geek or you just like movies, or you just want to sit down and look at a lighted screen, make it a Fanboys lighted screen.
Fanboys gets 6/6 from me. Here's what The Brew's view.
Scepticism was abounding when I first heard that they were making a sequel to James Cameron’sTerminator series, especially when I learned that Schwarzenegger wasn’t returning. mean, it really just seemed pointless to make one of these flicks without him. And McG as director? The music video/O.C. guy? Come on... But then I saw the trailer, and my mind was totally flipped.
Batman as John Connor?! It looked amazing am I wrong? Plus a kick-ass title like Terminator Salvation... shoot, this movie had guaranteed gold oozing out of it like hot magma poured over a T-800 model. But like 300, Spider-Man 3 and Watchmen before it, too much hype can leave a dude disappointed.
Let’s start at the beginning: this movie is obvious. They literally give you the twist in the first 5 minutes of the movie! Now I’m no professional filmmaker, but come on... there had to be a better way to introduce that Sam Worthington’s character was going to be a Terminator, did they really have to give it away right off the bat? And its predictability doesn’t end there folks, no, they also have to go for the whole John Connor (i.e. J.C. i.e. Jesus Christ) sacrificing himself deal with cross motifs saturating the entire film. Don’t get me wrong, I love religious symbolism but don’t shove it in my face. Basically, the flick has weak story telling, with a side of robot love story that makes for good action but boring ideas.
But speaking of the action, it’s amazing. High intensity and unstoppable machinery has made for good movie watching since the 80’s when Kyle Reese first traveled back in time to protect Sarah Connor in the first Terminator, and need we even mention T2? Only one of the greatest action movies ever made to this day?... The action in this movie matched its predecessors in my opinion.
The acting was great with the exception of Sam Worthington who apparently had no idea what accent his character was supposed to have. But Christian Bale, Bryce Dallas Howard and Helena Bonham Carter knocked it out of the park, and Anton Yelchin (the dude from Star Trek) was awesome. This guy could have Shia LaBeouf’s career without the drunkenness and car accidents no problem if he keeps making the right film choices. Bonham Carter did an especially good job near the end when Skynet disguises itself as her character, it was a chilling scene.
Despite the fact that all of the Terminator’s in this movie looked great (especially Worthington’s Terminator look and the motorcycle-bots), there were way too many scenes where the CGI looked like they’d just run out of time to make it look as good as today’s standards allow. And remember how I said that the Governator didn’t show up for Episode 4? Not so! Only once you see him you really wish he didn’t make an appearance because he’s completely CGI’d, and even though they try to make him look like the T1’s T-800 model, you just know the whole time that he isn’t actually there because he looks like a video game character. I was thanking God when they melted his skin off, but then begging God to make it stop when the really fake looking magma poured all over Arnie’s metallic skeleton because it looked terrible too. I’m sorry McG, but I saw Star Trek and Transformers and there’s no excuse for CGI that looks like it was made 5 years ago. With the way a lot of this movie looked, the rest of it should have been equal if not better, and it let me down.
Danny Elfman did the great score with returning Terminator theme, and Shane Hurlbut , a crappy movie regular, actually did some amazing camera work, with a helicopter scene near the beginning of the film that certainly deserves a second look as it Connor running into a helicopter, taking off, flying, getting shot down, crashing and escaping. Really cool.
So essentially, this movie is in the middle, with really friggin’ strong qualities and really friggin’ weak qualities. It moved too quickly, both in its story pace (the flick’s shorter than 2 hours and could have used more development) and in production so that I, as the viewer, might actually have believed that Arnold lived up to his promise when he said, “I’ll be back.” At least John Connor said it.
Terminator Salvation finishes with 2.5/6 from me. Here's what The Weekly Re-Brew had to say.
After seeing Ron Howard's take on The Da Vinci Code, I can't say that I was too pumped to hear that he was also directing the sequel. Frankly I don't think I can name a single Howard flick other than Far and Away that I actually love. But as a movie buff, I had to see it... and frankly, I wasn't too disappointed.
Basically, Tom Hanks returns as Robert Langdon, the man who discovered that Christ actually did sleep with Mary Magdalene and produce an heir to the throne of God, so the Catholic church isn't too stoked on him. But, when there's a terrorist threat against the entirety of the Vatican by what they assume is the secret organization known as the Illuminati, the men in red call on ol' Langdon to save the day.
For conspiracy nuts or anyone interested in religious history, this movie is for you. However it starts with this long drawn out process of a scientific experiment involving something called anti-matter which apparently some scientists believe is what caused the creation of the world. They call it the God Particle. If you're confused don't worry, I still am. This, plus the next 15 minutes or so of the movie were way too drawn out and confusing and I took points off the film for that.
The acting performances around the board were great. I love Tom Hanks, Stellan Skarsgard can do no wrong, and Ewan McGregor is Obi-Wan Kenobi! Obi actually has this incredible scene where he pleads with the Catholic cardinals to bend the rules and shows how science AND the church have wronged each other. The force was strong with him in this flick.
The pace of the movie was strange for a thriller as it was a race against time but with the way they edited in the music (a great score by Hans Zimmer), it seemed to jump from really intense to really slow to really stupid. Points off for that as well, although it definitely earned its musical points.
The cinematography was decent, although I think Salvatore Totino had a pretty easy time since it takes place almost entirely in Rome, and is it even possible to make Rome look ugly? Totino has chops though, maybe it's just time for him to break away from Ron Howard and try working with a new director that isn't Brett Ratner (Totino shot Changing Lanes, the Affleck/L. Jackson masterpiece).
All in all, it's an alright movie. It's not great by any means, but it's entertaining and if you love conspiracies and religion like I do, you'll probably like it.
As I used to do with The Weekly Re-Brew, I'm going to rate the movies I watch with beer bottles. I give Angels & Demons 4 out of 6 bottles, docked for its random music placements, its choppy editing and the fact that the first half hour of this movie is as boring as all get out.
Here's what The Brew had to say about the flick here.
Last night I re-watched a personal favorite from my childhood, and in my opinion, one of Rob Reiner's best films; Stand By Me.
What a great adventure flick. It truly captures what being on any kind of quest is like. Drawing on personal experience, I only remember my adventures as a kid AND as an adult bringing out emotions in my that I try to keep hidden away, and all four of the kids in this flick manage to really bring out those emotions in us.
Gordie Lachance breaks your heart in the scene where they find Ray Brower's body! Talk about a child performance, this one is one of the best, the one all other child actors should look to for guidance, the Citizen Kane of child performances.
Teddy Duchamp will scare you and make you laugh simultaneously, all whilst harboring a secret hidden anguish caused by the abuse of his war-addled Pop. Corey Feldman's performance in Stand is second only to his own performance in The Goonies. Don't tell me his "dream" monologue in the wishing well during Goonies didn't make you want to rip Troy Perkins balls out from where they hung for supporting his dad's quest to destroy The Goonies' neighbourhood.
Vern Tessio is the kid we all secretly relate to, the kid none of us want to be, but all of us truly are. Jerry O'Connell (before he bedded and wedded Mystique), truly brings the comic relief we all find ourselves needing in those scenes that are emotionally draining. Not to say he doesn't bring his own emotions to the flick. Hell, I think I had a heart-attack after seeing the terror in Vern's eyes while he was being chased by the train.
And saving the best for last, River Pheonix as Chris Chambers. I'm an Indiana Jones whore, so Young Indy can do no wrong in a flick, and his performance in Stand is no exception. Let's keep it simple and say that River makes Chris the kid we all wanted to be, shit, want to be. He's the kid who goes home to an abusive family, and still manages to keep his best friends going. The scenes where he breaks down will catch you by surprise, even if you've already seen it.
Sutherland and Cusack are of course great, but name me a time when they aren't. Great cinematography, courtesy of Thomas Del Ruth, the same D.O.P. who did great flicks like The Breakfast Club and a ton of TV shows, The X-Files included. Best of all though, is the classic (real classic, not Led Zeppelin classic) rock'n'roll soundtrack, which adds its own voice to the flick by keeping us the audience aware of when the story takes place. The aura the music creates reminds me especially of my own childhood and adolescence, this scene in particular,
Stand By Me is a touching little movie that belongs in any true film collectors... collection... It makes us all want to go off and have our own adventures, to be true heroes, like Gordie, Chris, Teddy and Vern. So when you watch this film, and start packing for your own adventure, allow me to leave you with a question from Christopher Chambers himself: "You wanna be the Lone Ranger or the Cisco Kid?"
I just watched this documentary today about how films in Hollywood are rated called This Film Is Not Yet Rated by Kirby Dick. Truly a captivating picture.
Reason #1 - It's funny. Hilarious animations and sarcasm, along with jaw-droppingly shocking yet endlessly amusing conversations between Kirby, the filmmaker, and the board members/film raters of the M.P.A.A. Possibly the funniest bit was when the film counts out how many 'humps' there are in various sexually exploitive films, aka, the most evil films on the planet. I mean that only in the sarcastic sense; the fact that sex is viewed as something so much more harmful to our psyches than violence or rape (NOT sex, thank you very much) is something I've always found revolting. But ya, the flick is funny.
Reason #2 - It's shocking. Even though said conversations are funny, they are first and foremost fucking unbelievably secretive and at times, flat out ridiculous. Sometimes you feel like you're watching a flick dealing with something actually important like Bowling For Columbineor something like that (think the Charlton Heston scene in Bowling only have the conversation focused in on whether or not Kirby can use precedent in his own ratings appeal, meaning 'can he reference other films?'). Not to down Not Yet Rated in anyway, it's just that Bowling dealt with school shootings and revealed many horrible truths about gun control, while Not Yet Rated is only dealing with how a flick is fucking rated. The fact that it does feel like a CIA thriller is what makes the flick shocking, and really shines some serious light onto the M.P.A.A.'s rating system and how it's run. To summarize, you'll probably start comparing Jack Valenti to Sergeant Major Dickerson from Good Morning Vietnam by the time the flick's 97 minutes wind up.
Reason #3 - He brings in real filmmakers to tell of their adventures with the M.P.A.A. I know only a handful of us even saw Jersey Girl, but if you have, than you'll be just as floored as I was when Kevin Smith reveals that they tried to smack that flick with an R rating! That movie fuckin' played out as a father/daughter picture the entire way through, and they were gonna rate it R all because of a little sex talk, that basically innuendos its way through the whole scene anyways? And meanwhile a motion picture classic like Die Another Dayor even a REAL collection of masterpieces like the The Lord of the Rings can come out with PG-13, just becasue they don't show blood when someone is shot or stabbed? Don't get me wrong, I'm stoked that kids were able to be introduced to the brilliant mind of Tolkien, but if those battle scenes aren't too violent, than a little talk about touching ourselves shouldn't be too sexual.
To say the least, this flick'll get any self-proclaimed film aficionado such as myself passionate and in an uproar about how they know more about film than the people at the M.P.A.A. and how if they could rate movies, they'd do it the right way, leaving out any true kind of censorship and only give those harsh ratings such as an R (18A in Canada) or a dreaded NC-17 (of course, to confuse us all, R in Canada) to the films that actually merit them, i.e. any graphic rape scene in a flick gets an NC-17 in my mind, as it is quite literally the combination of violence and sex (if you want to call it that) whilst victimizing in an extremely horrific way the weaker member of the rape. Especially women, which is all kinds of overused bullshit.
And so I started this blog, This Blog Has Not Yet Been Rated, so that I can discuss the flick's I want to discuss passionately and get into an uproar every once in a while about how I know more about film than the people at the M.P.A.A. and that if I could rate movies, I'd do it the right way, and leave out any true kind of censorship and only give those harsh ratings to the films that actually merit them. I hope you enjoy!
Ok, Wow! I cannot tell you how long I've been eagerly awaiting the release of this movie, which is a polite a way of saying I cannot tell you how long I've been crying like a baby waiting for the release of this movie throwing little girl tantrums everytime it said it was coming and then didn't. But, drumroll please... are you drumming?... are you using your hands or did you go find some pens or chopsticks or something?... who cares, cuz Fanboys is here!
